What is acceptance?
This morning/afternoon on the way to work I passed again a “homeless/street person/transient”. Homeless he is not. He has a home on the passenger bridge from First Avenue to the Ferry terminal and usually stays within about the same 50 yard section of it. Night and day he is there with presumably all his worldly goods in two carts. He smiles, talks to passersby, eats, sleeps here. Bothers no one that I can see. Appears, from having lived there for many months to be comfortable and happy there. He is literate (reads books anyway) and apparently gregarious and generous with his “home”. Others sometimes stay for a day or two.
Why then does his choice bother me? Yet twice a day I pass by and I judge him for it. Do I resent his choice? I don’t think so. Do I see something in him that reminds me of myself? Perhaps. He’s accepted life as it is. He lives the life he chose. Why then do I have difficulty accepting his choice? If I really thought he’d made a bad choice, why not stop, have a converstaion with him and try to suggest a better way? If I am one with the world, then I am one with him. He’s one of the manifestations of my choices. Under different circumstances I’ve been there. Yet I chose to move in a different direction at that junction.
And here the Ego really gets inflated. I must be stronger, better, more…. I am here now because of the choices I made. Had I not made them I would not have the life I do. Would not have the Loves I do. And I wouldn’t change that for the world. Then why when I look to the future, do I not have the confidence of that similar outcome. Lost as I am today in a quagmire of self-doubt, self-criticism, and personal recrimination the judgements I make of others haunts me.
I had a dream this morning in which I was regurgitating various mostly metallic bits of things; brass cabinet handles, screws, nuts and bolts. Am I (hopefully) getting rid of some irrelvant, inapropriate things? Maybe it’s the de-cluttering project.
But, how do we learn to accept, but remain caring and concerned, as well as stay on the Path? Can we take any real action until we have full Knowledge and Conversation?